I'm over it all today

Sorry about all the negative posts. But this is going to be another one.

I am just really tired of all of this.

Everything I do with him, I have to think so hard about. The smallest request can turn into the biggest confrontation in ten seconds unless I am supercareful.

He still won't eat properly. He's still in nappies. He still sleeps in our bed. He still talks all day about stuff that's in his own head. He bosses. He won't get on with his brother. His voice is loud and demanding and stressful.

When I change his nappy, he has to put the clean nappy over his head first, before putting it on. Then he has to put his pants on over his head before putting them on. If I miss a step he has an anxiety attack.

RDI is really great but it's challenging and tiring to have to change so much of what I do and how I speak and how I relate. I need to think so carefully all day about how things can work. Every time I get feedback from our fortnightly review, I think, "How can I do this better? How can I remember this all day tomorrow?"

I've never naturally been one of those people who loves little kids and all the messy stuff that goes with preschool. Small children are hard work for me. Looking after them doesn't give me energy like it does for some.

Yes, of course there are good things. He danced today when we put music on. He's using more appropriate language every week. Overall, he's improved amazingly in 9 months.

But I'm tired and I'm sick of it all today. And I'm having a big whinge.