Hitting bottom... again.

So, yesterday was a real low for us here. Bright Eyes got really really angry before bedtime and refused to brush his teeth. I felt annoyed with him for refusing to let me put the toothbrush in his mouth and walked out of his room and shut the door and went on to deal with the next child. 

All of a sudden I heard this loud thump thump thump from his room and then a *Crash* so I went in to see what was going on. To my absolute horror I found him kicking out the back of a chest of drawers. To be fair, the veneer was pretty thin, but he had actually put his foot through it. 

I was completely ropable and lost my cool. I dragged him out of his room and just about threw him onto his sister's bed and screamed at him. "How dare you! What do you think you are doing? You naughty little boy. You have ruined it. How dare you."

I stalked out and let us both calm down a little bit before I went back in.

"Why did you do that?" I asked.

"I just want to have triple bad behaviour all the time," he said.

"Do you behave like that at school?" I asked.

"No. I mean yes. Once a day I have bad behaviour," he said.

We talked on. He told me that he hated this family, that he thought this house and this town were rubbish and that if he had super powers he would lift us all up and throw us against the wall. At that I started to cry. If this kid could only appreciate the enormous efforts I have gone to for him!

I didn't know what to do so I just sat next to him and cried. 

"I'd feel so sad if you threw me against the wall," I said. "That would hurt. I would be really upset."

He looked impassively at me crying and said nothing, so I put him to bed and left him there, teeth unbrushed. ("I like yellow teeth and I want holes in them," he said.)

This morning I called the paediatrician who said 'go back on the meds and I'll send you a referral to a child psychiatrist to discuss other drug options'. I called the homeopath who said, "I've got three more remedies to try before I give up," and I'm waiting on a call from the other doctor to see what she'll say.

We certainly can't live like this. I could probably put up with it for a while longer but his little brother is really suffering, being attacked verbally and emotionally at every opportunity. I'm not sure what to do.

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