I've been very very anxious this week. Tight jaw, headaches, losing and forgetting things and my nervous tic, the twitchy lip.
The problem is that I'm worried that I'll never have enough time or energy to write the books I want to write (and every month I have a new idea for one). I'll never have time to study to be an RDI consultant and work with autistic children. I want to be fit and healthy, but I haven't made it to a pilates class yet this year. Perhaps I should have more children, but I don't have enough time. I have heaps of ideas for sewing and making quilts, but I don't have enough time. I really want to finish knitting my scarf and cool beanie, but I don't have enough time.
Of course I understand that if I keep worrying about what I haven't done yet, I'll die of stress disease early, which would be an ironic proposition.
It seemed easier when I was younger. There was more life stretching out ahead of me, but I'm nearly halfway through now and I've hardly done any of it yet.
What's the answer here? Get used to the idea that I just won't be able to achieve everything I want to? How can I live with that? I need some help.