Thinking. A little bit of amateur psychology
I get the occasional request to chat to people about their 'issues' and I've been interested in solving my own for years. Here are some questions I jotted down for a recent chat with a friend. (I really must go through them and answer them for myself in relation to an old problem that's recently come to light!)
- Do you realise there is a problem?
- What do you see as the problem? Can you identify the behaviour you do that creates or extends the problem?
- Has the behaviour developed over the years?
- Have you ever thought consciously about the behaviour, or is mostly subconscious?
- What do you gain from your behaviour now?
- What did you gain from it before?
- Can you get the benefits the behaviour gives you from something else, or a different behaviour?
- What benefits would you get from changing your behaviour?
- What would it cost you to change your behaviour?
- What steps would you need to take to change it?
- Can you visualise the changed behaviour, and its effect on you and on people around you?
- What do you do to avoid or minimise or rationalise the outcomes of your behaviour?
- Will you make a decision to change your behaviour?
- When will you make that decision?