Thinking. Funerals and friendships.
I was a bit taken with an entry on Don Miller's blog the other day about life plans and funerals. He and some of his friends have been writing their 'life plans' together. The starting question they thought about was: "what do you want your funeral to be like?" the theory being that if you know the end point, then you can figure out how to get there.
Miller surprised himself by realising that he only wanted 20 to 25 people to be at his funeral. While his books and writings affect a lot of lives, he says that as a person he only has the capacity to really love a few people.
My immediate reaction to his statement was: "25? Are you kidding? I want 325 people to be at my funeral!" And that would be the minimum. I definitely want a big funeral because I love a whole lot of people! There are so many great people that I've known in all the different places I've lived and I've had lots of connections with some really wonderful souls.
Would Don consider my friendships shallow because I have so many of them? I hope not. It's true, you can know people on different levels, but I think you can still love people even if you're not their bestest friend in the whole world.
My greatest desire when I was 11 years old was to have a best friend. It consumed my waking hours and took over my life. I didn't find one at that point in my life. Now I have a husband who is my best friend, and a bff from uni (we don't see each other much but it's nice when we do) and a whole lot of good friends. And people who I really like and who I want to get to know more. Time and distance are factors that limit my ability to show my love, but it doesn't stop the desire to be friends with LOTS of people, not just a few.
Maybe Don Miller is an introvert and I've surprised myself by showing that I'm an extrovert. I don't know. All I know is that I really truly do look forward to heaven where I'll have all the time in the universe to spend with people and grow lots and lots of friendships.