Why we scream at our kids

Last week I came across a parenting article in a major newspaper (unfortunately I can't find the link anymore) in which the author asked other parents to join her in a pact to stop screaming at their children.

I am a 'sometimes' screamer. I don't do it all the time or as a matter of course, but I do sometimes let them have it.

But it occurred to me that simply making a pact to not do something is never going to work. It's incredibly rare and almost impossible to stop poor behaviour just because you want to. Far more effective is to look at the reasons why you do the behaviour and work from there, asking for God's help.

To that end, allow me to present my list of reasons why we scream at our children.

1. We scream our children because we are tired.

2. We scream at our children because our parents screamed at us.

3. We scream at our children because we don't know what else to do.

4. We scream at our children because it gives us a rush of adrenaline and endorphins that make us feel powerful, satisfied and in control – however briefly.

5. We scream at our children because we want them to do what we tell them.

6. We scream at our children because we have louder voices than they do.

7. We scream at our children because it seems to 'work'.

8. We scream at our children because we think we have tried everything else.

9. We scream at our children because someone has screamed at us already that day, whether physically or metaphorically. 

10. We scream at our children because we are embarrassed, angry, fearful or worried.

 

Do you have another reason to add to the list?