I am ready (and happy) to turn 40
I never, ever thought I would say this, but I realised yesterday that I'm looking forward to my 40th birthday.
Here's how it happened.
I often read the reviews of my book Invisible on Amazon, because I want to know how it's being received.
Most of the time the reviews are glowing. People love the story, love the writing, love everything, want to know when the next one is coming. Occasionally though, I read something like this one:
This is a touching story but did not feel very well written.... The author did more explaining and describing to the reader than I would like. She did not leave much room for readers to simply experience the story... The writing was not great and limited how much I could experience and enjoy the story.
If I'd read this five or ten years ago, it would have taken me days to get over it. But I found that at the age of 39 and 10 months, I didn't mind.
In fact, I kind of agree with it. The reality is that I'm an okay writer. I'm not a great writer, but I am willing to learn and try and grow. One day I'd like to be a great writer, but for now I'm willing to be 'okay' and if the best I ever get to is 'reasonable' I'll be okay with that too.
As I get older, I care (mostly) much less about what other people think. As I get older I'm more able to take praise and criticism as they are meant to be taken - with a grain of salt and an eye to growth. And as I get older I'm more able to accept truth and feedback.
Basically, I'm much more okay with who I am, at nearly 40, than I ever have been before.
And that's kind of exciting.
So I'm looking forward to 40. I'm looking forward to focusing on writing and seeing what I can do with it in the next ten years. I'm looking forward to life and relationships with more truth, humour, acceptance and maturity in them.