If I was to write a book about the parenting lessons I've learned since the wave of autistic spectrum disorder hit our family, it wouldn't be a 'top tips' type affair with nuggets of wisdom about bathtimes, dinner times and school refusal.

In fact, it might not end up being a book about parenting at all, because I'm taking the lessons I'm learning and transferring them to every situation that I face.

But if I was to write such a book, the one key lesson would be this: You need to know that you are loved today, right now, as you are, with a deep, accepting, abiding, forgiving, transforming love that only God can give. 

Parenting books always come with action points, and my action point number one would be: start listening to everything you say and everything you think. 

Action point number two would be: start decluttering your life - time, priorities, objects, desires, ambitions. Set your priorities and  tell the truth about what you don't need.

What are your key parenting lessons?