Something that's really important when we do RDI is to get out of 'crisis mode'. Slowing down helps this. And getting through grief stuff also helps.
Being in perpetual crisis is exhausting and unworkable. You can't think creatively, and you have no energy to do anything more than react. RDI is about going beyond the reacting phase, and acting intentionally with your child.
I think we're getting there. And I really liked this quote from Dr Gutstein, the brains behind the program:
"You know you have turned the corner when, instead of spending all of your time worrying about what your child will do next and how you will deal with it, your child is spending all of his or her time wondering what you will do next, and how he or she will deal with it."