Hypochondria and death
I think about death almost every day. Not in a gruesome way, but in a "what would I do if...?" sort of way.
For example, husband might be ten minutes late. My mind goes straight into "It would be bad if he had a car accident. I hope he's ok. What if he died? How would they tell me? What would I say? Where would I live? What would we play at the funeral? How will I get on with the children on my own. I don't think I'd marry again..."
Or I hear a story about a child dying and think, "That would be awful. How would I cope? Would I have another baby? How would I tell the other kids? etc etc"
Or I feel slightly ill in the stomach and think, "Heavens - what if I have stomach cancer and I have a long prolonged drawn out death. How would I say goodbye to everyone? I'd have to write down instructions for husband about the children and make sure they were ok..."
As a child I frequently worried about mum and dad dying. It was good I knew that I'd be living with my aunty and uncle, although I was a little concerned that they'd have too many people to look after with three extra children and two of their own...
The good part about this habit is that I have made sure I have enough life insurance and super to survive should anything happen to my husband. The bad part about it is I think I am slightly hypochondriacal. Also, my husband rarely takes me seriously if I am concerned about an ongoing health problem.
"Oh, you just think you're going to die... don't worry about it!" (He says it in a nice way though.)
Is this a normal thing? Or am I the queen of panicky hypochondria?
PS. I do feel ill today. Woke with a throbbing headache. Read on the internet that waking up with a headache can be a sign of brain tumour.... here we go again.