Thinking. A little bit of amateur psychology

I get the occasional request to chat to people about their 'issues' and I've been interested in solving my own for years. Here are some questions I jotted down for a recent chat with a friend. (I really must go through them and answer them for myself in relation to an old problem that's recently come to light!)


  • Do you realise there is a problem?
  • What do you see as the problem? Can you identify the behaviour you do that creates or extends the problem?
  • Has the behaviour developed over the years?
  • Have you ever thought consciously about the behaviour, or is mostly subconscious?
  • What do you gain from your behaviour now?
  • What did you gain from it before?
  • Can you get the benefits the behaviour gives you from something else, or a different behaviour?
  • What benefits would you get from changing your behaviour?
  • What would it cost you to change your behaviour?
  • What steps would you need to take to change it? 
  • Can you visualise the changed behaviour, and its effect on you and on people around you?
  • What do you do to avoid or minimise or rationalise the outcomes of your behaviour? 
  • Will you make a decision to change your behaviour? 
  • When will you make that decision?