Motherchef vs Masterchef
Here's my pitch for a new prime time reality TV show.
Motherchef will feature 24 of Australia's top cooks who battle it out in the kitchen for inventive and technical supremacy.
What's the twist? Well, it's reality reality TV.
Equipment: Contestants must cook in a normal kitchen with knives that need sharpening and pots that were wedding presents 12 years ago and need their handles replacing. There is no blast freezer, very few interestingly shaped molds and not a blow torch to be seen in the utensil drawer.
Invention tests: Contestants must cook nightly meals for small children using what's only in the pantry or the fridge and adhering to the children's particular dietary foibles.
Pantry: Shopping is only allowed once a week, and must be done in the company of said small children. Contestants must work within the average household budget.
Time limits: In the time frame allowed, contestants must not only cook for, but also babysit the small children, and help at least one with his or her homework.
Pressure tests: All of the above, but with the addition of a crying baby. Points are deducted when the contestant starts crying as well.
Judges: Friends, family, parenting experts and the members of the local mother's group.
Eliminations: Not needed. Most contestants will walk out of their own accord, lamenting the impossible conditions for cooking decent food!