One sad, one happy

One sad thing

I visited a playgroup today for the first time since we moved here. It was a really nice playgroup: well run, friendly people, nice toys and happy children. I have only good things to say about it. My boys were happy and played well. I had a yummy cup of tea, and managed to say no to the delicious chocolate muffins being passed around.

Why did I feel so rotten being there then?

I hate to say it, but it's because I am still jealous of everyone else's 'normal' kids. Because I still feel like I'm just making it every day. Because I feel like I've joined a 'secret club' that no-one else there is part of. Because I feel like I've got bigger problems.

Selfish? Maybe. My husband says it is 'reactive depression' to a small loss. (He went to a seminar on depression recently.) With every big loss, there are lots of small losses. Today's small loss was not being able to go to a playgroup and forget that Bright Eyes has autism.

One happy thing

A lovely lady from our church, who happened to be a good friend of my nanna before she died, has offered and is keen to help me out with Bright Eyes' RDI. She has offered twice, once in writing, so I take that as serious!

I'm going to give her a CD of some RDI lab time activities plus some reading so she can learn about it. Then she's going to come and sit in on some lab time, get Bright Eyes used to her, and hopefully do a session or so a week, plus maybe take him for a walk here and there.