My new book isn't working

I'm writing this new story about Abby Smart and how all her friendships fail in Year 6 but it's not working. I've taken four chapters to my writers' group and not once have I had enthusiasm about the character. 

In fact, it's been the opposite.

"She's not very likeable."

"She's a horrible little girl."

"I can tell you don't like her at all."

Actually, it's not true. I DO like her. I love her. Yes, I want to slap her on the face and say "Hey, wake up, you can't behave like that" but it's because I know she's so much better than she appears. She's just a little lost right now.

A member of the group said that I need to get inside her head more but I'm not sure how to do that without changing the voice. Right now I'm writing in third person, but I think it may need to come from first person. And I may also need to give the two other girls a voice as well, so that we see all the different points of view.

I love poor little Abby. She's tough, confident and talented. She just doesn't quite know how to grow up and let her friends be themselves. She doesn't realise people will still like her if she's not always in charge. 


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